How to Be Supportive

• Listen. Show active listening skills.
• “Thank you for sharing with me”
• “I’m so sorry that happened”
• Let them know that they are not to blame for the incident. You can say things such as “It’s not your fault“ or "you didn't deserve that to happen to you"
• “I believe you“
• “How you are feeling is normal“
• “You’re not alone”
• Empower the victim/survivor by asking questions such as:
  • How can I help? 
    • Offer to walk with the victim/survivor to Center for Student Mental Health and Well Being and/or the Title IX Coordinator's office. 
  • "What would you like to do?"
  • "Where would you like me to sit?"
  • "Is it okay to hug you?"
• Take care of yourself, too.

• Let the person control what happens following an incident of violence. Don’t force them to report, call the police, or go to the hospital.
  • If all employees are strongly encouraged to support while others are mandated reporters, it is important to tell the victim/survivor before they disclose. The victim/survivor should decide for themself whether or not they wish to make a report. 
• Don’t interrupt.
• Always ask permission before touching the victim/survivor.
• Don’t dig for more information or investigate. Allow the victim/survivor to share only what they are comfortable sharing with you.
• Never blame the victim/survivor.
• Manage your emotions. It is difficult to hear that someone you care about was hurt. Threatening the person allegedly responsible for the harm is not helpful to the victim/survivor.

Neurobiology of Trauma

Research on the neurobiology of trauma informs how we understand the impact of trauma on the brain. 

Normal Responses to Trauma

• Anger
• Sadness
• Feeling numb
• Difficulty remembering event(s)
• Difficulty trusting people
• Blaming themselves for trauma
• Increased vigilance
• Irritability